Bsi 2,054.43 -4.67 -.23%
Any good news coming for Tiger's return to the course has been rather severely stunted by the publishing of sext messages by one of his paramours. Ewww.
BUY
Father Augustus Tolton (FATCHI) 1.59 +1.59 NA
The son of slaves, the Chicago Arch Diocese is pushing Tolton for sainthood.
SELL
Wal-Mart (WMT) 1.91 -.44 -18.72%
Wal-Mart may be a big player on the Dow, but it certainly takes a hit here this week.
Although, to be honest, we kind of find this funny in a real, fucked-up, perverse way. Sorry.