Friday, September 3, 2010

Bsi 2,017.74 +2.99 +.15%

We don't know about you, but we're just glad this week is over.

WINNERS

Jay Pharoah (JPHRO) .99 +.99 NA

Is Saturday Night Live about to hire a Negro -- specifically this guy? Even if they mess up and don't this impressionist's profile has been raised over the past couple days.

LOSERS

Wal-Mart (WMT) 1.29 -.46 -26.29%

Guess who segregates their books by race? That ain't part of no Dewey Decimal system.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Bsi 2,054.43 -4.67 -.23%

Any good news coming for Tiger's return to the course has been rather severely stunted by the publishing of sext messages by one of his paramours. Ewww.

BUY

Father Augustus Tolton (FATCHI) 1.59 +1.59 NA

The son of slaves, the Chicago Arch Diocese is pushing Tolton for sainthood.

SELL

Wal-Mart (WMT) 1.91 -.44 -18.72%

Wal-Mart may be a big player on the Dow, but it certainly takes a hit here this week.

Although, to be honest, we kind of find this funny in a real, fucked-up, perverse way. Sorry.